Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
HOW PROFESSORS GRADE THEIR EXAMS:
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
WHAT COLOR ARE YOU?
Read this and think about it. Is it really helped you to tell somebody’s character. Don’t tell yourself that now you are astronomic and start asking date of birth and tell everything. Have a goodtime and fun,
If your birthday is on......
December 23rd~ January 1st = Red
January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange
January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow
January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink
February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue
February 9th ~ February 18th = Green
February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown
March 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua
March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime
March 21st = Black
March 22nd ~ March 31st = Purple
April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy
April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver
April 21st ~ April 30th = White
May 1st ~ May 14th = Blue
May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold
May 25th ~ June 3rd= Cream
June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey
June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon
June 24th = Grey
June 25th ~ July 4th = Red
July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange
July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow
July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink
August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue
August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green
August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown
September 3rd ~ September 12th = Aqua
September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime
September 23rd = Olive
September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple
October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy
October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver
October 24th ~November 11th = White
November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold
November22nd ~ December 1st = Cream
December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey
December 12th~ December 21st = Maroon
December 22nd = Teal
*RED*
Cute and lovable type, You are picky but always in love...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can make you feel comfortable.
*CREAM*
Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long time.
*TEAL*
You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.
*GREY*
You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that’s inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have good sense of humour
*GREEN*
You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single waiting for the right person.
*GOLD*
You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.
*PINK*
You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.
*YELLOW*
You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time and always dreaming of romantic relationship.
*MAROON*
You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to make things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble for not thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better >love.
*ORANGE*
You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach and u really work hard to get there, you are competitive. Your friends are really important to you and you appreciate what you have, you sometimes over react that's because you are sensitive.
*PURPLE*
You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for a person that's trustworthy.
*LIME*
You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.
*SILVER*
You are imaginative and fun, you love trying new things. You like to challenge yourself. And you learn things easily, your easy to talk to and you give good advice, When comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them forever.
*BLACK*
You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.
*OLIVE*
You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.
*BROWN*
You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.
*BLUE*
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.
*NAVY*
You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything and very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, it’s hard for you to forgive them.
*WHITE*
You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes weird, but everyone loves that in you.
*AQUA*
Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and get lost in love easily, sometimes get hurt by love.
If your birthday is on......
December 23rd~ January 1st = Red
January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange
January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow
January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink
February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue
February 9th ~ February 18th = Green
February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown
March 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua
March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime
March 21st = Black
March 22nd ~ March 31st = Purple
April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy
April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver
April 21st ~ April 30th = White
May 1st ~ May 14th = Blue
May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold
May 25th ~ June 3rd= Cream
June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey
June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon
June 24th = Grey
June 25th ~ July 4th = Red
July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange
July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow
July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink
August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue
August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green
August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown
September 3rd ~ September 12th = Aqua
September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime
September 23rd = Olive
September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple
October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy
October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver
October 24th ~November 11th = White
November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold
November22nd ~ December 1st = Cream
December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey
December 12th~ December 21st = Maroon
December 22nd = Teal
*RED*
Cute and lovable type, You are picky but always in love...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can make you feel comfortable.
*CREAM*
Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long time.
*TEAL*
You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.
*GREY*
You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that’s inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have good sense of humour
*GREEN*
You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single waiting for the right person.
*GOLD*
You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.
*PINK*
You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.
*YELLOW*
You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time and always dreaming of romantic relationship.
*MAROON*
You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to make things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble for not thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better >love.
*ORANGE*
You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach and u really work hard to get there, you are competitive. Your friends are really important to you and you appreciate what you have, you sometimes over react that's because you are sensitive.
*PURPLE*
You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for a person that's trustworthy.
*LIME*
You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.
*SILVER*
You are imaginative and fun, you love trying new things. You like to challenge yourself. And you learn things easily, your easy to talk to and you give good advice, When comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them forever.
*BLACK*
You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.
*OLIVE*
You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.
*BROWN*
You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.
*BLUE*
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.
*NAVY*
You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything and very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, it’s hard for you to forgive them.
*WHITE*
You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes weird, but everyone loves that in you.
*AQUA*
Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and get lost in love easily, sometimes get hurt by love.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Hindus God:
Brahma: - Creator
Vishnu: - Preserver
Shiva: - Regeneration
Agni: - Fire
Krishna: - Love
Ganesh: - Wisdom, Luck
Indra: - Rain, Thunder
Laxmi: - Beauty, Fortune
Vishnu: - Preserver
Shiva: - Regeneration
Agni: - Fire
Krishna: - Love
Ganesh: - Wisdom, Luck
Indra: - Rain, Thunder
Laxmi: - Beauty, Fortune
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