Am I really lonely? If I ask same question to others I will get simple answer: No, you are absolutely not lonely. This is a part of life and we need change sometime. What sort of change do I need? Now, at last I can assume that I need somebody or partner. Am I attracted with somebody? Have I met my dream girl? I am not quite sure where my dream girl is?
What produces attraction may change with time and circumstance? If I am feeling bad about myself, I may be attracted to a person who is complimentary and supportive. If I am feeling bored with daily events, I may be attracted to someone who promises change and excitement. Attraction has no single cause.
Loneliness is to make a self-defeating attribution. The individual is saying, “I am too uninterested and unattractive for anyone to care about.” The depression and inactivity then reduce the likelihood of the individual seeking new relationships. We are only human beings who have different skills, experiences and knowledge however all of us are not psychologists and do not know different psychological aspects happen in our daily life. Most of the people love their near and dear ones. They would not knowingly do anything to damage the self-esteem of their loved ones. Sometimes they do not say exactly what they mean. For example, sometime our loved one may say, "I did not like you very much when you told me this". We may take it to mean that he/she does not like us at all. It would be better if he/she had said, "I get scared and nervous when you shout". This is the way, an individual can make clear that it is the behaviour that is beings criticized, not the worth of the person. The same applies also in interpersonal relationships at workplace, play-ground and so on. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)
The odds are that most of the people are not aware that their words are so harsh. Most peers and friends honestly want to support and encourage their peers and subordinates and help them feel loved. They try but they may not do everything perfectly. Self-esteem is a pride and acceptance of our self. It is our sense of personal worth. When we feel worthwhile we are able to make good decision, experience acceptance from others and give and receive love. Loneliness increases to the people who are in Love however love often causes pain.
· Depend on each other
· Want very much to help each other
· Want an exclusive relationship.
There are various reasons which individuals are attracted to each other:
Familiarity and proximity: - They must have some form of regular contact or association. This includes such situations as attending the same class, working in the same office, and living in the same apartment building.
Personal needs: -We are attracted to individuals who satisfy our needs and desires. These include the need for love, emotional support, and the desire for financial status and attractive physical appearance.
Similarity: -Similar in terms of socio-economic level, race, religions, beliefs, and education level. e.g. in a study with students.
Reinforcement: -Individual tend to attracted to individuals who reinforce and support their own opinions, values and ideas or who share similar interests, such as hobbies and activities.
Parental models: - It is sometimes suggested we are attracted to individuals who possess the trail of our theory, females are oedipal attracted to males who possess the trails of their fathers, male are attracted to female who have the trails of their mothers.
I have tried to explain the psychological aspects how the attraction develops from love to hate which has been tried to explain as followin
g figure. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)
Deep relationships between people in western culture usually progress through a regular series of stages. Starting with zero contact, mutual awareness develops as a result of proximity, repeated exposure, or a positive response to physical appearance. At the level, that of surface contact, mutual interests and attitudes may be explored. If relations continue to be rewarding couple may move to the level of maturity.Matuality increases to the extent that the participants reveal themselves to one another, accept each other, and complement each other’s needs. Marriage and friendship is depending on person’s sacrifice and loyalty. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)
What produces attraction may change with time and circumstance? If I am feeling bad about myself, I may be attracted to a person who is complimentary and supportive. If I am feeling bored with daily events, I may be attracted to someone who promises change and excitement. Attraction has no single cause.
Loneliness is to make a self-defeating attribution. The individual is saying, “I am too uninterested and unattractive for anyone to care about.” The depression and inactivity then reduce the likelihood of the individual seeking new relationships. We are only human beings who have different skills, experiences and knowledge however all of us are not psychologists and do not know different psychological aspects happen in our daily life. Most of the people love their near and dear ones. They would not knowingly do anything to damage the self-esteem of their loved ones. Sometimes they do not say exactly what they mean. For example, sometime our loved one may say, "I did not like you very much when you told me this". We may take it to mean that he/she does not like us at all. It would be better if he/she had said, "I get scared and nervous when you shout". This is the way, an individual can make clear that it is the behaviour that is beings criticized, not the worth of the person. The same applies also in interpersonal relationships at workplace, play-ground and so on. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)
The odds are that most of the people are not aware that their words are so harsh. Most peers and friends honestly want to support and encourage their peers and subordinates and help them feel loved. They try but they may not do everything perfectly. Self-esteem is a pride and acceptance of our self. It is our sense of personal worth. When we feel worthwhile we are able to make good decision, experience acceptance from others and give and receive love. Loneliness increases to the people who are in Love however love often causes pain.· Depend on each other
· Want very much to help each other
· Want an exclusive relationship.
There are various reasons which individuals are attracted to each other:
Familiarity and proximity: - They must have some form of regular contact or association. This includes such situations as attending the same class, working in the same office, and living in the same apartment building.
Personal needs: -We are attracted to individuals who satisfy our needs and desires. These include the need for love, emotional support, and the desire for financial status and attractive physical appearance.
Similarity: -Similar in terms of socio-economic level, race, religions, beliefs, and education level. e.g. in a study with students.
Reinforcement: -Individual tend to attracted to individuals who reinforce and support their own opinions, values and ideas or who share similar interests, such as hobbies and activities.
Parental models: - It is sometimes suggested we are attracted to individuals who possess the trail of our theory, females are oedipal attracted to males who possess the trails of their fathers, male are attracted to female who have the trails of their mothers.
I have tried to explain the psychological aspects how the attraction develops from love to hate which has been tried to explain as followin
g figure. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)Deep relationships between people in western culture usually progress through a regular series of stages. Starting with zero contact, mutual awareness develops as a result of proximity, repeated exposure, or a positive response to physical appearance. At the level, that of surface contact, mutual interests and attitudes may be explored. If relations continue to be rewarding couple may move to the level of maturity.Matuality increases to the extent that the participants reveal themselves to one another, accept each other, and complement each other’s needs. Marriage and friendship is depending on person’s sacrifice and loyalty. (Click on diagram to enlarge.)
The three most important of target dependent variables: propinquity (The more I see you, the more I like you) or physical closeness, the emotions of feeling that an individual happens to be experiencing, and the level of that person’s need for affiliation. We can take reinforcement theory about the conditioned feeling based on psychological theory as follows: (Click on diagram to enla
rge.)
rge.)References:
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