Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Why children abscond from home?

Today, when I was reading The Sun newspaper, I found a report about the children who run away from their home in teen age. This report brought my memory back when one of my family’s member ran away from family to do something on his own and get more freedom.
When children at development age (6 months–21 ages), he will start to discover his body and naturally want to explore his anatomy. Some children realise that he has got dangly bits down there and will want to be aware of what he can and can’t do in terms of what hurts and what doesn’t – it is completely innocent.
Sometime it might feel embarrassed when he does some mistake while out in public. But some people will laugh it off and will understand that it is just one of those things children do.
It is OK to discourage the children from his bad habit as long as you keep things low key. We shouldn’t scold him from doing this – or it could lead to bigger issues later in his life. If parents shout at him doing this, then he will feel embarrassed about his natural urge and ashamed of him. He could then grow up with complex.
Gentle reminders or convinces are a good way of just alerting him to the fact what he is doing and that should be enough for him to stop and realise that there is a time and place to discover his anatomy.
The only way parents will over – react is if they are constantly telling him not to do it. It is best to turn a blind eye now and again, or he could start to use his behaviour as a tool to get their attention.
It is the same with children who pick their noses. The habit starts off innocently when they need to clear their nose but don’t have a tissue paper.
The automatic reaction is to use finger but they are reprimanded and told this is a dirty habit – so they end up doing it when they think no one’s looking or deliberately in order to get their parents or other attention.
Equally if parents laugh – even out of embarrassment when they repeat it for a reaction, whether it is good or bad. It is all about good manners. Parents have to discourage children’s unsavoury habits but without shaming them into submission.
Let’s move topic on the pragmatism of children who run away from home. There are so many reasons behind it: want more freedom than their parents would give them, poverty, domestic violence, appraise like others to get experience and so on. Once they run away from home, they start begging for food or do different stuff of job for food, and started sleeping in the streets, under bridges, in ditches or camped in a tent with friends. For while vulnerable youngsters will still flee home to escape abuse, neglect or family conflict, there will be fewer places to keep them safe. The problem is immense. Because most of runaways start to seek help from other adults who may harm, exploit or hurt them. Heartbreakingly, these under – 16s fall victim to pimps, paedophiles, drug dealer and some of them can’t cope and will come back to home. At last but not least, it is really dangerous life they live on the streets. Some of them are lucky who will be offered them by good people to help them for their good life.

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